andy young's facebook comment...

...is making me put more efforts into writing funny shit for my friends to read. Thanks, brother.

So here it is, I haven't updated in about two months. I'm sorry. There are reasons for it that are far better than working at Staples. Or that I'm doing nothing. I'm busy living the life of a vagrant, sleeping nearly every night on the floor of my brother's apartment, keeping my belongings tucked away in the closet and drinking a nearly fatal amount of coffee each morning.

But things are good. I'm working at an outdoor store in the city, selling Nalgenes and polar fleeces to the city's affluent and maladjusted. I work with a collection of interesting people, most functional stoners that come into work hungover (with a frequency that makes me feel right at home.)

I'm also trying to write some novel for young teenage boys about video games, the united states military and other preposterous ideas. I've written two chapters and am waiting to hear back from it.

Two weeks ago I had a conference call with an editor and the VP of the company, two people talking to someone living a life that couldn't be further away from the ones they've grown to know. I am technically homeless. When I work I am fielding questions like "Do you guys have fishing lures here?" and "Well then where the hell can I buy guns in this city?!". I am still 40 percent sure I have some amount of wildlife living inside my body.

When they asked the question "Are you represented by anybody? They'll want to look over a contract if we send it to you," I didn't really know how to respond. Do I just tell them I sleep on a floor every night? Do I just read aloud my banking statement from the last period? (chipotle, bar, bar , chipotle, mcdonalds, public transportation, seven eleven...)

Instead I'm playing it cool, hoping that one of these days a contract might be showing up in my mailbox. And I'm using the term 'my mailbox' loosely, as there's not really an address I'm guaranteed to be at.

In short, if you have siblings that will let you sleep on their couch for upwards of two months, I suggest doing it. It's much better than Staples. Although sometimes I do miss the faint smell of mothballs 60 year olds working cash registers give off.