everybody's working for the bleak-end

here i am, the eve before i call staples for a third time in order to procure a second interview. what's that? yes. you read that correctly.

you see i guess staples (read: shitty office supply chain) has some sort of divine screening process that only makes sure the truly chosen ones are accepted for mindless copy work or variably paced register work. maybe they know i'm not jewish already, thus the elusive tactics they seem to use everytime i call.

-"yeah, well we're just pretty busy right now, but we'll get you in next week for a second interview."

-"tell you what, we'll call right after the holidays, we're just too busy right now to get new people in here."

-"listen jeff, you seem like a nice guy, but you have a degree. like...a real degree. stacey over here can't even spell degree...but i bet if you wrote it down she could make five dozen perfect photocopies in a range of any color you could want. what the hell are you doing with your life? i mean...this is staples...in streetsboro...ohio."
"i...uh...well..."
"you know the best part of my day? when i go to your house to pick you up and for a split second i think maybe you're not gonna be there. that you took off somewhere."
"isn't that from good will - "
"please get out of my office."
"so that's a 'no' then?"
"just please leave, i'm very strong."


so tomorrow i get to call them again. and look for more jobs to complement the intense winter depression i'll certainly be facing over the next two months. if things work out well, i'll be working somewhere soon in attempts to save up money and move my ass to a city. if things don't work out, well, my writing's going to get a lot better or be one of those "i'm starting to worry about my friend" type of an operation. here's hoping it's enough of both.

-"hi, may i speak to a manager please?....hi, my name is jeff miller, i'm wondering if you're hiring right now...yes i'm aware it's january...in a horrible recession...and i know i'm well overqualified for this position...yes...no...no...of course...no...well i mean technically my friend told me to do it....i think it was about a six lane street...umm word for word??....something involving a taser and crime not paying...no....yes....no....ok thanks for your time."